Hello my boy!

I heard you wanted to be a security guard.

I think it’s an excellent idea, firstly because it’s a career with a future, and secondly because it can get you an important position in a museum, university or Radio-Canada.

However, there are three rules that you must follow if you want to get your International Federation of Wokism membership card, which allows you to enjoy multiple benefits in certain circles.

Including the wonderful world of media.

STOP LAUGHING!

First rule: You MUST give up your sense of humor.

This is a non-negotiable condition.

Because a real security guard, my boy, doesn’t laugh. Never. No way. Neither public nor private.

For what? Because for a security guard, everything is serious. All. The smallest.

Everything affects the fate of the world. What they eat. what are you dreaming about The images that go through your mind when you make love.

As Marxist activists said in the 1960s, everything is political. The comics. The candy. The color of your socks.

everything is serious Everything is important.

To enter the wokes, you need to enter the commands. We don’t joke anymore. “How dare you laugh when there is racism in the world??? While there is sexism??? Do you think they laugh, the black people, the trans people? No, they suffer!”

When we are awake, we hold our buttocks together. We watch everything – especially our neighbors, friends and loved ones.

You never know, they may be spies in the service of heterocentric white colonialism!!!!

Did your dad make a shady joke the other day? Teach him a lesson! Educate him! Report it!

There’s no sarcasm or second degree when you’re awake. Everything must be taken literally! No context justifies the use of specific words!

Being woke up is a full-time job! A calling!

AT THE END OF YOUR ROPE

“God spits out the lukewarm,” we read in the Bible.

Likewise, wokism hates moderation.

The wake up calls are always nervous. Glued to the ceiling. The big blue vein on the back of the neck or on the forehead.

It is not enough to reform society. We want to change everything! All!

Gone are the days of fighting for gender and racial equality! Everything is over! Equality is the victory of the mighty!

No, we must stand up for INEQUALITY! Superiority!

Women are better than men! Blacks are better than whites! Men who turned into women are better than women who were born women!

This is intersectionality! The more you are in the minority, the more value you have!

Why fight for bisexual midgets when you can fight for bisexual albino midgets?

Seven years of misfortune

And third lesson: waking up is never wrong. Never. Even if they’re wrong, they’re right.

So. I wish you the best of luck, my little one.

Because for the guards there is happiness in misfortune.